I Can't Believe This...

I actually killed one. I killed a proxy.
I don't know why I'm so shocked by this. I had always known it was an option, possibly even the best option. Yet, for some reason, I had never done it.
Now I see why. In that brief instant, the moment I gave into my rage, I was like them.
It wasn't emotionless killing, either. I let loose my rage, all the pent up frustration, onto that one proxy that had the balls to try to jump me. I was utterly gleeful.
I caught his hand mid-swing. He was holding a knife, so I pulled mine out, and placed it in his stomach, berserk smile plastered on my face. I used his knife to slit his throat, and removed mine from his gut.
Looking back on it, this is probably what He wanted. He wanted to show me how easy it was to slip, to succumb to weakness. Then again, if I had just taken it, I would have been in a far worse situation.

In related news, I decided to give myself a title. Everyone else seems to be doing it, so why not me? I can now be called (Berserker). Ironically, I picked this about a week ago, before my berserk snap, in an attempt at a joke. Up until now, the most violent thing I had done was an attempt to trap some proxies for information.

575

Feeling poetic.
Thought I'd write a few haiku.
They're awful, I know.

It's all just a joke.
None of this really matters.
Yet I must fight on.

Not just for myself.
This is for all He has done.
All the lives He's wrecked.

It's time to fight back.
This might be the last post here.
I'm Steve, signing off.

Ow

Well, I said it was a bad idea, so I guess that's what I get.
Slenderman mask/suit combo does not work as a disguise, even against the hiveminds.
Those fuckers called reinforcements, I knocked three of the sorry sons of bitches out cold, they called their boss, and I had to run.
Mild headache. I'm getting used to them, honestly.
That fact alone would have worried me a year ago.

Sorry

That last post was just me rambling. Tends to happen when my headaches get worse.
Caffeine addiction is a weakness I've been living with for years. Compared to the withdrawal symptoms I get after two days, the shit I put up with when Slenderman is around is nothing. However, when you combine the two, you get me rambling and spouting out every thought that goes through my head just to prove to myself that I'm still a functioning human being.
And yes, that's what happened. He showed up in my weakened state, and I was barely able to stay conscious. Headache persisted through the entire day, despite caffeine treatment. Nausea lasted for about 2 hours. Smell of blood (possible indication of nosebleed) continued for five hours.
He's fucking with me. He's just taunting me. This is how he plays with his victims.
Unfortunately for him, he's dividing his efforts right now. There has been a lull in proxy activity in the region, signifying a lack of (non-me) targets and a lower troop availability. So, I'll probably live for quite a while longer, while he continues to fuck me up.
Wish me luck, everyone. I'm about to try something stupid.
Steve.

Thoughts as I think them...

I don't know why it is I can't focus...
I need more caffeine...
Words do not have power, they are power...
I can hardly think, this headache is too much...
Sometimes I wonder why I ever got in...
My throat's irritated, but not stinging. I think something's caught in it...
Why am I typing this?
Ooh, shiny...
Why would I ever need to put a pen there?
OW! HEADACHE!
My old iPod is upside down...
I really need to get all the empty cans out of here soon...
My mouth tastes weird...
*Entirety of the song Zydrate Anatomy goes here*
I still need more caffeine. This headache is unbearable.
Holy shit, it's 2:32. I work tomorrow. I need to sleep.
Fuck, headache!
No sleep for me, I guess...
I smell a fire...

On Symbols

I feel now is the perfect time to give a lesson on what is known as symbolism.
Symbolism is allowing one thing to stand for another, e.g. a crucifix for the Christian faith, a handshake for an agreement, language for thoughts, et al.
The reason for this mild lecture is a comment from the (now certifiably batshit insane) Danielle, saying that the (X) is a dead symbol.
Let me tell you all the various ways that is wrong.
1. No matter how hard anyone tries, they cannot kill a symbol. So long as it has significance to one person, the symbol is still alive.
2. The (X) is a variable symbol. For some, it is a protective ward. For others, its mere presence brings problems. Even though it was likely originally luck that determined what it meant to each of them, it now is associated with those things for the respective people. They know it to be a symbol. It's a symbol for thousands of different things, Danielle. And those are the hardest symbols to vanquish.
3. The (X) is dead to Him. So what? He's not human. He has no concept of symbolism. The only thing human about Him is curiosity. And that's why He's keeping you around, Danielle. That's what His agents are to Him. They are proof of His curiosity. He wonders why you fools would willingly follow something that just wants to take everything apart, all of you included. He's testing to see how far He can push a human before we break. And guess what, Danielle? You broke. He has no need for you anymore.

I'm going to stop writing now. Headache. Until next time, this is Steve, logging off.

So much for darkest before the dawn...

If you've been reading everything on this blog, you'd see what happened a while ago. Danielle has completely fallen off the deep end. Apparently, there's no saving her now.
As for me, I can't sleep on a regular schedule anymore. Something just happened to frak up my sleep schedule enough to get me to a point where the only times I sleep are during the day. Give you three guesses what it was, and I'll tell you it wasn't caffeine, even though I down enough to knock a man twice my size off his feet twice daily.
Proxies have been quiet recently, though. Gotta be worried about a sudden lull in activity. Either they're preparing something here, or they're doing something somewhere else.
I shouldn't have to tell any of you this, but stay safe. And remember, let me try anything crazy before you do. I'm not Maduin, but I'm still fully capable of testing a few theories. Don't know if my "untouchable" status has been switched off yet, but if it has, I usually have luck on my side.
So, until next time, this is Steve, signing off.

Great...

Danielle has completely fallen off of the radar on my end. Haven't spotted her online in weeks. I know I'm probably just being paranoid about this, but when your opponent is not bound by mortal concepts such as space, paranoia is your best defense.

In other news, I recently got a job. I'd say where, but I have a feeling that my blog has at least one more faithful reader than it has followers. Either that, or Slendy himself is hacking into my head and siphoning information about where I'm going. So, no personal info. Only info given is an alias and a general location.

Yes, that's right. My name isn't Steve. I never claimed it was, I just said that's what you can call me. I had to think of a generic name, so I used one I already use in other parts of the internet. People call me Steve online. So, in the spirit of concealed openness, I used my alias as my name. Apparently, Slenderman doesn't know my real name yet. And I'm doing everything in my power to keep it that way. So, in the spirit of partial honesty, I'm revealing that the alias is an alias, but not revealing my name.

Until next time, this is... Well, it's easier to call me Steve. There's already an Anonymous (Magus) around, so you can't call me that.

So, until I decide to reveal my real name, this is Steve, signing out.

P.S.- Opinions on my decision for the new formatting? I feel that the green on black gives it a more... professional feel.

Lost: Hope

If found, please return to this former Fighter, current Survivor. Known to take the shape of any good news in the battle against systematic slaughter by and of Slenderman's proxies.

Reward: Another Fighter, ready to join the front lines. A Fighter with a motive to fight. A Fighter with nothing left to lose.

Just great...

Fucking Slenderman. Every fucking time I try to do something, what happens? Some Slender-related shit, that's what. Apparently, the biggest douche of all possible abominations decided to show up in town again. Animals freaking out, my cough is back, and I'm having to ingest massive quantities of caffeine to compensate for lost sleep. I've managed to cover for His existence for a while, but in case of the worst possible outcome, I've fashioned a charm out of an eraser. I know the operator symbol has some mixed results when dealing with Him, but I have a theory as to why that is. It's somewhat like a holy symbol for use against vampires: you have to believe it will work. You need to show some belief that the symbol has power.
And, if that fails, He might think you've decided to work for Him, and leave you alone. 
...
Yes, I realized how slightly somber that last sentence was, in comparison to the general rage/hope filled paragraph before it. It needed to be. I realized a long time ago that this is a battle I'm not going to see the end of. And acting like I believe anything else is just lying to you guys.
Part of me just wants to give up, and He's not even harassing me. He's just lurking here, fucking shit up as only the biggest douche in the world can.
Another part of me wonders what would happen if He won. All of humanity, reporting to Slenderman... We'd all be proxies. He wouldn't kill us. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that anyone should submit to Him. Hell, I'm not going to work for that fucker. He blackmailed my friend into working for Him. I'm just saying that there are far worse possible outcomes.
There are also far better outcomes. Exploiting His weakness, for starters. Slender, as with all godlike entities, is the product of human imagination run rampant. Slender is the corporeal representation of our fears. He has no face, for we fear the unknown. He wears a suit, for we fear that which is entirely too serious. He takes a guise close to human, for we fear each other. He brings death and fire, the two things all creatures learn to fear to keep their lives.
This very nature makes His destruction entirely possible. However, due to what He represents, it's nearly impossible to destroy Him. He is fear. Fear can be hidden, displaced, and conquered, but never truly destroyed. Fear is necessary. All life fears. He is man's fear. As long as one human still has fear, He will remain.
I, though, am not immortal. I will die long before fear.
We can win this battle. We just won't.
Doesn't mean it's time to stop fighting, though. If I'm going down, I'm going to take Him down a few pegs. too.
Row, row, fight the power!


Steve.

Back, yet again.

Ugh. This week has been rather draining, physically and mentally. Decided I'd check in with you guys, let you all know I'm still around, alive, and well.

Yes, I saw what happened at the end of my last post. Hasn't happened since then, and He hasn't been anywhere to be seen, so I'm not overly worried about it. Aside from being ridiculously tired, I'm not really feeling any different than I ever have.

As for what's happening now, I've been rather busy recently. Clinicals started up for my class, so I've been working the 4-9 shift twice weekly at the hospital. Tomorrow's going to be a real bitch, though. Have to get up around 4:30 A.M. to get there in time... Not plesant. Not plesant at all. That's two Saturdays in a row I've had to wake up at 4:30. Ah, well. Who needs sleep, anyway?

No other news. At all. Slender seems to have more or less left the area. No doubt He'll be back, though, so I'm keeping this blog running.

Until then, this is Steve, signing off.

Tired, as usual

I'm feeling more wiped out than usual today, so I thought to myself, "Hey, self, why not post a blog update? That doesn't take too much effort."

Good idea, self. Very good idea.

Apparently, Slender decided to step up His security surrounding me. He's keeping me protected from... something. Maybe there's something else after me. He would know.

He's been following me since... Well, it's been a while. If I had to guess, I'd say about twelve years. He's never so much as sent a proxy after me or anyone I know, but He's been around. In some sort of Slenderized (translation: completely fucked-up, as with everything Slender does) way, He's kind of a benign entity in my life.

Doesn't stop Him from pissing me off by fucking with other people.

*Yawn*

Well, I figure that's enough ranting. Time for me to sign (x)ff.

~Steve

I'm back

Sorry for not writing more. I've just been busy recently. No college this week, meaning I have an extra hour to devote to my favorite activity: hunting down Agents. Yes, I've realized that they usually can't be reasoned with or helped, but I'd still offer them a chance for redemption. It's sad, really. Either mind-blistering mad, or backed into a corner by Slenderman. I actually do pity them.
Doesn't stop me from trying to hunt them down, though. Their boss has ruined enough lives. There's only one currently I wouldn't capture, and that's Danielle.
The whole cult thing... yeah, that was nothing. Just a couple of nutjob preproxies convinced that they could control Him. They came at me with knives when I told them what I was planning. Let's just say Slender didn't approve of his future pets trying to kill someone on His "don't touch" list. I swear, that list has given me so much leeway it's not even funny anymore. Slender apparently wants me alive, or else He would have killed me right then and there.
A few things I've noticed:
I've started losing things. Just small thing, like coins, cards, pebbles... trinkets in general. I think He's paying visits and taking things. Klepto bastard needs to find his own pencils.
I've started becoming more iritable. Well, that's not really accurate. I've started acting more honestly. It might have to do with my caffeine reliance, but I honestly don't ever remember acting like House when I don't get my coffee before.
I'm tired more often. I just feel completely drained after a full day of school. No real reason why.
Well, I'm signing off now. If anyone has anything to say, say it here. I might not post for a while again.
Steve.

Again...

Since I'm home sick yet again, I figure I might as well share some of the things I noticed about His behavior.

1. He seems to appear more often when I'm tired, hungry, or in some other way impaired. Cold medication made Him show up almost as soon as the side-effects kicked in.
2. As anyone who reads H(a)unting knows, He does occasionally show a more human side. I've never seen it, but then again, He's not really that friendly with me.
3. Non-target humans might not notice Him, but animals can sense him coming from quite a distance. This makes dogs especially useful for any runners out there. That, and having a friend can help keep you sane.
4. He will not show up to rescue His agents (anecdotal evidence, testing required).
-Subnote: All the agents I've captured were fucking insane. They laughed. Not at me, nor at my methods, but at the very idea that Slenderman was using them. They said it was the opposite that was true. Then again, these "agents" were trying to capture me, so I'm pretty sure they weren't the real deal. I think they're some sort of fucked-up cult to the Slender fuck. I'd investigate further, but something tells me they won't hold back.


That's all I have for now. Until next time, this is Steve, signing out.

Holy shit...

I woke up from a nice nap a while ago. Then, I cooked dinner. Just logged on now to see that there's been a new post on my blog. Posted during my nap.

Time to change my password. Although, judging by the typing style of my unwanted co-blogger, I don't think a password change is going to help much. If He hacked it, He could do it again. I don't think it was hacked, though.
I think He might have been in here. In my room.
And nobody noticed...
I'm scared.

Rock-a-byeStevieinthetreetop
Whenthewindblowsthecradlewillrock
Whentheboughbreaksthecradlewillfall
AnddownwillcomeSteviecradleandall.

Same old, same old...

Still no luck capturing any Agents. Danielle was right, they are avoiding me. Pretty sure my family's safe, too. He hasn't made any moves yet, and subtelty isn't exactly one of His strong points.
So, yeah. I'm just sitting at home right now. Snow's melting.
I wonder if they'll be any fresh tracks in the mud tomorrow.

Enraged

Fuck you, Slenderman. Putting me on a "don't touch" list, and blackmailing a kid to force her to become an agent. Some fucked-up logic you have there. One would think you'd choose a stronger candidate. One that knows how to move to get places. One that might actually be dangerous to you if you pissed him off. One like me.

That's right. I'm pissed, and now the kid gloves are off.

Expect to see some trapped agents soon. Why agents, you ask? Agents can be reasoned with. I'm going to take this bastard down, with the same tactics He uses. I'm going to turn His agents against Him. I'm not going to sink to His level, though. I'm human. I have morals. And until He removes me from that list, His proxies can't touch me.
So, either this goes as planned, and by the time my name's off His list, He's going down, or I'm off the list before I can do any real damage.

Tests and Results

A brief note: I hate being right sometimes. Danielle is a proxy now. Not Hollowed, but more or less blackmailed into being an Agent by the Slender bastard himself. She's not an attacker, she's a tracker. If you see her, please don't do anything to hurt her. I know it goes against every instinct you have, but she's just a kid. She doesn't want this. And when that Slender bastard goes down, and trust me, He's going down, she'll be right there celebrating our victory with us.

Now, on to the main part of the post.

Test 1. Since the Slender bastard seems to ignore my presence, I decided to try a simple trick: I used some fishing line and two trees to try to trip him. It worked in a way (it caught on his... legs? and snapped, and hit his legs on the way past. I'm no expert on bizzare, inhuman monstrosities, but I think that He would feel that), and, as happens whenever something goes poorly for Him, He summoned proxies. One ran right past me. When they started searching, they couldn't find me. Even the one that ran right past me.

Test 2. After being ignored by both Slenderman and his proxies, I was a bit annoyed. A bit of fishing line hitting His leg got more attention than me. So, I pushed a proxy over. He looked around for a bit, then looked directly at me, then continued looking around for what tripped him. Now, since this was probably a Hollowed, and as a result, not quite there (literally, as they kind of share a collective mind), I expected for him to look around for a bit before looking in the direction he was pushed from. But to look directly at the person that pushed you, and completely ignore him? I know no Hollowed is that stupid...

Test 3. So, I pushed him again, this time right in front of him. He fell to the ground, and he looked scared. It was as though he couldn't see me, for some odd reason. He ignored the sight of me, he ignored me yelling at him... It's as though they can't detect me.

Now, I'm skeptical of any "powers" involving immunity or shit like that. Sandra's immunity is a puzzle to everyone, including Slenderman. How I can be basically invisible to all those directly linked to Slenderman, though... That's a real mystery. I know the stories about Him, so it's not ignorence... I've seen His work, so it's not deluded hope... And I've fucked with his shit on a personal level, so it's not due to Him being unaware of me.

Public Announcement

Well, readers, it seems that it's still true that you can't say anything online without someone taking it out of context. Yes, I said Danielle had pre-proxy symptoms. Headaches and sleeping a lot are symptoms that people exhibit before becoming proxies. So's a wheezing cough, such as the one I have. Those are also symptoms of several other things. Having symptoms of a disease does not mean you have it.

Danielle's text in her earlier posts being a bright red also made it slightly hard for me to read. I misread the buzzing feeling as a buzzing sound. That was a horrible, horrible mistake on my part. I misinterpreted that as an auditory hallucination brought on by Slenderman. That one was entirely my mistake.

While I did say she had some symptoms that showed Slenderman could be have been targeting her to make her a proxy, I never said she was a proxy. A fully-taken proxy has no symptoms, other than complete obedience to Him. Even if she were being targeted, as Kate posted previously, there is a cure if you catch it in time.

If I catch people taking what I say out of context again, I'm going to be pissed. I didn't intend to turn everyone against a fellow fighter. I'd like to publicly appologize to Danielle for making the past couple days more hellish than they had to be. Dealing with Him every day takes a lot more than what I do.

Just Realized Something...

Slender was only about 20 feet away from me when I saw Him yesterday. Now, normally that would seem quite a distance, and He might have a chance to not notice someone that's aware of Him. But when I was out, it was about 13:40. There was barely anyone on the street. I'm sure He would have noticed if someone else, such as Maduin, were in the car, but to not notice me... That just seems strange. Maybe He's just ignoring me... Just another test for when I'm feeling better.

Less Ugh...

Well, readers, I've got some good news, and some bad news.

Went to the doctor today. Apparently, I've got bronchitis. Which sucks. Fortunately, he got me on some decent meds, so I'm feeling quite a bit better today.

Now, for the bad news. I saw Slenderman today. In the middle of the fucking town. Nobody else even seemed to notice Him. It's a good thing I wasn't the one driving, or I'd have crashed. He wasn't faced toward me, so I think He probably didn't see me, but still... that was too close. I prefer at least 50 feet of distance between myself and that monster at all times.

Going to lock my door tonight. Better safe than sorry, especially when you think Slenderman might have possibly seen you and decided he wanted revenge.

Ugh...

I haven't been feeling so hot this week, readers. Horrible cough, headaches, and loss of lucidity. I'd suspect slendersickness, but since he still hasn't seen me (and everyone else in my house has it, too), I'm guessing it's probably just the flu. Since I'm not quite up to going out in 15 degree weather and messing with something that could break my mind with a single thought, I'm putting this on haiatus until I'm feeling better. I'll post if something big happens. "Something big" meaning me being found.

Just Saw Something... Upsetting

If you're reading this, you may be aware of Danielle, one of the girls from A Stalking. I wasn't aware of this blog until a while ago today. Utter bomb drop when I realized she's exhibiting... symptoms. Headache and buzzing ears is one thing, but randomly falling asleep and hallucinations around Slender are another thing entirely. Couple that with the fact that Slender is giving her favors, and you've got a case of pre-proxy syndrome.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Steve, why would you care if some kid becomes a proxy? 3 reasons, readers.

1. Every person that becomes a proxy is a person that could have, at one point, helped someone. I'm in the market for as much help as possible. Snipers don't win wars.

2. Danielle knows me from a forum we both visit. I linked my Youtube account to that forum. She knows what I look like. If Slender's proxies are truly part of a hivemind, and she becomes one, they'll all know what I look like.

3. Danielle and I are pretty decent friends. Letting a friend just become a proxy would be horrible of me. I couldn't forgive myself if I did that.

By the way, in case you hadn't noticed, I found out how to edit my text colour. It's not exactly my favorite, but it's still better than default black.

Attempt 1

Quick warning before reading this any further: Do not, under any circumstances, even think about trying any of this, EVER. It was a horrible idea, and it damn near exposed me to Slendy. If you're a runner or a fighter, this is practically guaranteed to just piss Him off. The only reason I even survived is sheer surprise on His part.

I tried to trap Him yesterday. Went to what appears to be one of His favorite haunts and set it up. It was a simple enough trap, a net weighed up by bait the Slender bastard couldn't resist: A bowling ball with an Operator symbol scratched into it. Dumbass picked it up, releasing the rope under it, and the net above Him. Net falls, Slender gets pissed, 2 proxies immediately show up and cut the net. I ran as soon as I saw the proxies had knives.
Still, pretty good for a cheap laugh at the bastard's expense. Well, cheap-ish. Going to need to buy E. a new bowling ball.

Notes 1

1. Slender appears to follow typical human rules for line of sight, except when it comes to His intended target. Further investigation required, as Slender is at least as intelligent as a human. Knowing that, He should be able to mask His abilities.
-Addendum: Proxies are also capable of acting as Slender's eyes. Even though this should be common knowledge, avoid at all costs.

2. Later intended targets for Slender are typically those close to other targets. Slender seems to use their fear of Him as a weapon. While fear is a perfectly rational response to this monster, it is to be avoided if at all possible.
Note to Self: Research first recorded victims. See if path is traceable. Find potential future targets, and observe.

3. According to the Jester, memeic weapons work as a last resort. Field testing yielded mixed results, but I was nowhere near Slender. At least I got a few laughs out of his reaction to finding $20.
-Addendum: Crosses may not have worked for me, but then again, that may have something to do with my religious affiliation (or, rather, lack thereof). Either way, I still wouldn't recommend using them except as a last resort.

Greetings

I'm not really used to the whole blogging thing, so bear with me. I just thought this needed to get out in public.
I'm not claiming to know what Slenderman is up to. I'm not going to even try to say I know how he works. Such things are beyond my mortal comprehension. All I'm saying is I can find him. I don't call on him, and he doesn't try to find me. I'd say he doesn't see me, but guessing that is kind of hard when he doesn't have any eyes. He's not targeting me, at the very least. No proxies, no music skips. Nothing. I've got no reason to run.
I recently decided to use this to my advantage. I'm going to watch over Slendy for a while. He's got me curious. I'm going to figure out how he works, once and for all. Then, and only then, I'll strike. This Slender bastard has done too much damage to be left around for too long, but failure to prepare is preparation for failure.
I'll post more when I learn more.